my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
