I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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