So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
