My sheets look like a crime scene.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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