Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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