The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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