he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
