Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
