Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
