I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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