At least make sure they are 18
Why
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
