How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize