is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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