dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
