That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
