Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so let's talk penis.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
