3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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