I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
