Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
