i permit you to call me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
