I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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