butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
