C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
