We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
