i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
