; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
