This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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