Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
