Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
