don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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