There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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