Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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