I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
