The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
