Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
