Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
