can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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