i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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