Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
