No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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