I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to make a zoo with you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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