i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
