it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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