I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
