I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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