my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
