Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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