I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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