Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
