You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
