We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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