if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize