so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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