Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
