I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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