In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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