what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
