I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize