in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
