Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
