He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
