I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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